The Mindfulness Remedy To Improve Happiness
A study by Killingworth & Gilbert found that we spend only 47% of our lives being fully attentive and mindful of the present moment! This is particularly noteworthy given their finding that we are significantly less happy when our minds wander. How often our mind wanders is more predictive of our happiness than how much money we make! Practicing mindfulness can help to remedy our tendency to loose awareness of our moment-to-moment experience. By slowing down and learning to do one thing at a time, with our full attention, we can learn to appreciate each and every moment.
Photo Credit: S.B. Vonlanthen
MINDFULNESS
“In today’s rush we all think too much, seek too much, want to much and forget about the joy of just being.”
— Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
Finding Time For Mindfulness in Family Life
Slowing down in the midst of busy family routines can be difficult and requires a dedicated effort on the part of parents. This couple shares how they have integrated mindful practices into their daily routines and how these practices support their family values and goals.
Savoring
When we do things with our full attention we are able to savor our experiences. Savoring the good things in life increases our happiness.
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A study in the Journal of Positive Psychology showed that people who savored a positive experience were able to maintain happiness regardless of the what else happened during the day. When people did not savor their positive experiences, they required more positive events to maintain their happiness.
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Jose, Lim, & Bryant, (2012)
Photo Credit: Hal Gatewood
Tips for Parents
Tip 1
Pay Attention to your own thoughts and feelings toward your children. By checking in with ourselves and being mindful of our own reactions to our children, we can become more conscious of our parenting. This helps us to make intentional choices that are aligned with our goals and our desired relationship with our children.
Tip 2
Teach your child to breathe. Focusing on our breath helps to bring our awareness to the present moment. Blowing bubbles, or feathers can help children learn to control their breath. The square breathing technique can provide a helpful visual for children as they learn to focus on their breath. By drawing a square in the air we can teach kids to breathe while tracing the four sides of the square: breathe in for four seconds while tracing the first side of the square, hold for four seconds while tracing the second, breath out for four seconds while tracing the third side, and pause for four seconds while tracing the final side. Another technique is the big belly breath. Help your child to learn to breathe deeply by placing their hand (or a favorite stuffed animal) on their belly. They can tell if they are taking big belly breaths if their belly rises on the in-breath and lowers on exhale. Once they have mastered one or more of these techniques they can use them at any time to calm down and re-center-with or without you!
Tip 3
Practice being fully present with your children. When we make time to truly listen to our children, and focus on our moment-to-moment experience with them, we give them the gift of our full attention, and increase our own level of happiness. Remember we, too, are happier when we focus on the present moment!
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Tip 4
Encourage your child's authentic mindfulness. Have you ever noticed how young children rarely miss the sound of a passing airplane-pointing to the sky, bringing our attention to the plane we had not noticed? Or perhaps seen a toddler dancing in their stroller to music we did not even hear? The natural awareness and presence of young children can be encouraged by slowing down and joining in their enthusiasm for their moment-to-moment experience.