MEANING-MAKING
Why is this important for our children and families?
Family stories play an important role in communicating cultural and family beliefs which help our children make sense of the world and their experiences. Through stories, we can teach them what their family is about and help them to place their experience in a wider context.
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We can choose to share family stories that promote optimism and resilience. The most helpful stories for children are those that share the ups-and-downs of our family life. These stories communicate resilience and reassure children that the family can overcome difficulties.
Fivush, Bohanek, & Duke (2014)
Family stories teach children about their family history. The more children know about their family history the happier and more resilient they are. Research has shown that children who know the most about their family history have higher self-esteem, a greater sense of their own competence, and fewer behavior problems.
The Benefits of Family Stories
Photo Credit: Alexander Dummer
Family rituals help to remind us of the values and unique strengths of our family. Sometimes the significance of our rituals can get lost. We can restore the importance of family rituals by pointing out their meaning and encouraging our children to do the same. This can awaken our attention to the meaning around rituals and the values they convey.
Conoley et al., (2015); Fiese et al., (2002)
Photo Credit: Vincent Guth
Meaning can be defined as: “The extent to which one's life is experienced as making sense, as being directed and motivated by valued goals and as mattering in the world"— George & Park, 2016
A Parent's Reflection on Meaning-Making
Teaching children about their family history and culture can increase their ability to understand their experiences and help parents pass along values and traditions between generations.
Play the clip to hear how this parent uses stories and traditions to create meaning in her family.
Photo Credit: Ghost Presenter-Unsplash
Stories are powerful — they help us to share information and transmit experiences to others.
Science supports what we have always intuitively known about the power of stories. A study at Princeton University has provided a scientific explanation for how and why stories are so powerful. This study used an MRI to look at brain activity while people listened to stories. When people heard a story (in a language they understood) their brains synchronized with the brains of the story teller. When the story teller’s frontal cortex lit up on the MRI so did the listeners'. The brain of the listener actually mirrored the brain of the story teller! This illustrates what happens when we tell stories to our children- they are able to feel what we feel. We are able to transfer our feelings and experiences from our brain to theirs.
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Stephens, Silbert, & Hasson (2010)
Photo Credit: Jesse Orrico
Tips for Parents
Tip 1
Rituals and traditions create meaning in our families. They may be associated with cultural or religious practices, involve formal traditions such as those around holidays, or be more personal practices that establish unique meanings in our family (things like rituals around the start of a new school year, or building forts on rainy days). Establishing these traditions and labeling them for our children can help build meaning for them and our family.
Tip 2
Teach your children about their family history. A family tree can be a fun way to introduce your children to their family lineage. For very young children, it helps to keep the family tree to a few generations and to use photographs of family members along with (or instead of) names. Older children can learn about multiple generations as well as interesting facts such as: ethnic backgrounds, traditions, or unique details about the lives and characteristics of family members.
Click here to access family tree templates you can use with your children.
Tip 3
Take some time to reflect on your family stories. Why do you think some stories are told over others? What do these stories communicate to your children? What values do you hope they will learn, and what messages will they take away? When we are aware of our hopes and motivations we can help to make these values more clear.
Tip 4
Research suggests that kids who know the most about their family history are more resilient, and have higher self-esteem.
Click here to access 20 questions that can help you to begin to talk to your children about your family.