Talents involve skills in particular areas and typically refer to things you or your children do. Musical or athletic ability are examples of talents.

Character strengths are more enduring traits that reflect who you are. Examples of character strengths include bravery, kindness and compassion.

Photo Credit: Ben White

There is a good deal of evidence from Positive Psychology about the importance of helping young people to focus on the possibilities for the future. This includes imagining their future selves. When children are able to incorporate their strengths and capacity for resilience into their hoped-for-view of their future selves, these qualities are amplified.

Tellis-James, & Fox (2016); Wagner & Watkins (2005)

Photo Credit: Aaron Torres

Research suggests that enhancing strengths and virtues reduces depression and increases happiness. “Catching” your child using their signature strengths is a great way for families to help their children to build and enhance strengths. Studies show that when parents consistently focus on, and affirm behaviors that reflect valued character strengths, these strengths are enhanced, and both parents and children experience an increase in positive emotions.

Conoley et al. (2015); Seligman, Stern, Park & Peterson (2005); Spaventa-Vancil & Conoley (2012)

Photo Credit: Nurpalah Dee

“Raising children is far more than just fixing what’s wrong with them. It is about identifying and amplifying their strengths and virtues and helping them find their niche where they can live these positive traits to the fullest.”

— Martin Seligman, Authentic Happiness

Tips for Parents

Tip 1

Learn to recognize your children’s strengths. Clues to identifying their signature strengths can be found in answering some fundamental questions such as: what does your child most naturally gravitate toward, what things come most easily to them, and what activities are they most able to attend to-without your encouragement?

Click here for a survey that can help to identify signature strengths.

Tip 2

Create opportunities for your children to use their strengths. We know that we are happier when we are engaged in activities that allow us to use our signature strengths. By creating opportunities for our children to develop and use their unique strengths we can help them to access this path to happiness.

Tip 3

Teach your children to look beyond talents when identifying their strengths. When asked about their strengths, children most often describe talents or things that they feel they do well: “I am a fast reader”…”I draw nice pictures”…”I am the fastest kid in my class”. We can help them to expand their understanding of their own aptitudes by giving them the language to describe their more enduring character traits and pointing out or labeling the ways in which they show compassion, creativity, bravery etc. This can greatly expand their view of their positive attributes and capacities.

Tip 4

Make an effort to focus on strengths. By highlighting our children’s strengths we can help to build them. This can also help to combat the stress they experience around challenges they face, or activities that are harder for them.